Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
