she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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