The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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