So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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