Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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