We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
