i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
