Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
