I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
