Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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