im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
