he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
