This girl is more easily done than said...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
