I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
