Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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