Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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