at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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