I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize