check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
