He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
