how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
