I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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