i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
