dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
