I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
