y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
