weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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