Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
