Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize