WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
