When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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