Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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