Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
