This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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