My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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