He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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