I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
