Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Everything about him screamed your future.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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