Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
this is an emotional support booty call
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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