Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
