I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
