I am puke
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That was an excessively violent trivia night
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
