i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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