My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
