worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
