Non-Jews are for practice
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
