His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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