so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
