is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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