Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
