Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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