I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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