Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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