I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
