i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Come share oat with me in your robe
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
